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Hahaha this is the funniest thread ever. Reminds me of Loud Howard from Dilbert:

Loud Howard - Another coworker who, despite appearing in only one comic strip, became a regular character in the TV series. In the series, Loud Howard is incapable of speaking quietly, and his overpowering voice often breaks anything and everything around him, including people's eardrums. When he sneezes, it is highly advisable to take cover, as the resulting blast has blown the flesh and bones off of people, resulting in only a skeleton (at least in the marketing folks).

Edited by amokoura
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