32 replies to this topic

[zfisherdrums]

UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!!
Useless Humanity, Inc is pleased to announce the next-gen version of LazyReader©.
We've expanded our R&D department, brought in extra coffee-pots, fired a couple useless interns - and you get to reap the rewards of our corporate re-structuring!!!

Previous downloads: 291
 LazyReader2.zip   586.55K   1866 downloads
12 - 16 - 2007
- Rewrite to work with AutoIt v 3.2.10+

New features to enjoy:

• Play, Pause, Resume, Stop HotKeys (Ctrl-T, Ctrl-Shift-Pause, Ctrl-R, Ctrl-S respectively)!
• Customizeable Hot Keys and Voice settings!
• Dump speech straight to a WAV file!
• Aesthetically pleasing user interface!
• Dynamic effects that make Windows Vista look like Windows XP!!!

HotKeys:
To speak text contents in the clipboard, press Control-T.

To render a WAV file of the text contents in the clipboard, press Control-W.
Note: The resulting file will be placed under the WAV sub-folder. Look for the temp file with the most recent time stamp.

If you want to pause the voice, press Control-Shift-Pause.

If you want to resume a paused voice, press Control-R.
Note: When the voice is in a paused state, it will not respond to the Talk Hot Key. You will not be able to speak new clipboard contents until the current text is read completely OR the voice is stopped.

If you want to stop the voice, press Control-S.

To close LazyReader©, press Control-E.


Configuration Dialog:
To access configuration settings, you can either right-click on LazyReader© OR click on the Tray Icon and select 'Settings'.

From the Dialog, you can set the Hot Keys for the actions mentioned above (in the event that the default Hot Keys conflict with an application on your machine.) To do this, simply replace the Hot Key sequence in the associated input field and press Enter. When you "x" out of the Dialog, it will prompt you to save changes. Click "Yes".

You can also set the Voice parameters (i.e., voice, speed, volume ).

You can also see the wonderful people who helped make this possible with their contributions to me directly or in-directly.


Show/Hide GUI:
It is well documented that Erica loves the new GUI, but your manager may not feel the same. To hide (or show) the GUI, click on the Tray Icon and select the appropriate option from the "GUI" break-out.


Additional Notes:
A copy of all text read is dumped to a text file in the History folder.

Legal has reminded us to thank the following individual contributors who helped in our most successful launch to date:

• Bert
• erifash
• CyberzeroCool
• gaFrost
• i542
• lod3n
• PaulIA
• SolidSnake
• Secure_ICT

So use some of that new-found free time and drop us a line. Let us know how LazyReader is making your life more complete!

*****************************************************************************
How many times have you looked at a page full of text and sighed...wishing there was something that could read all those cumbersome words while you did more important things? Things like:

-> dusting off your Transformers for the fan-flick you KNOW you're going to make
-> rehearsing your fear of the opposite sex
-> lamenting that we can't just download this crap directly into our heads

Google no further! LazyReader© will help you amass huge quantities of free time by doing the task of reading for you!

You might protest "Text to Speech ain't nothing new! Erifash, GaFrost, and countless others already have scripts that do that!"

True, text-to-speech is not new, but LazyReader© will read the contents of your clipboard whenever you copy something new into it. In fact, pressing Shift-F10 will repeat that important part you missed when you where looking for Optimus Prime's hands.

Pressing Shift-Escape will exit the script, BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!! Your fan-flick is going to be so sweet. Erica will totally go out with you!

Do you know why it took so long for scientists to discover Penicillin? Because they didn't have LazyReader©!

So until Morpheus shows himself and starts introducing you to your new "librarians", use LazyReader©!

Not convinced? Just think how much time you would've saved if you hadn't read all this!

Edited by zfisherdrums, 16 December 2007 - 06:41 AM.

[BrettF]

lol..... I like your salesman technique

Looks ok, but do you really need to clear the clipboard at the start?? and I also get an error

G:\lazy.au3 (33) : ==> The requested action with this object has failed.: 
$ABriefHistoryOfRhyme.Voice = $ABriefHistoryOfRhyme.GetVoices( "Name=LH Michael", "Language=409" ).Item(0) 
$ABriefHistoryOfRhyme.Voice = $ABriefHistoryOfRhyme.GetVoices( "Name=LH Michael", "Language=409" ).Item(0)^ ERROR

[zfisherdrums]

Useless Humanity, Inc.
2000 Awesome Hair Drive
Nashville, TN 37211

Re: Problems with the use of LazyReader©

Dear BERT;

Thank you for your interest in LazyReader©. We're sure you'll agree that our product will help you realize huge gains in the areas of personal productivity and knowledge advancement. I know it is hard for me to believe that we're practically GIVING this away for $19.95 free!

In regards to your inquiry, our R&D department has provided the following response:

"Looks ok, but do you really need to clear the clipboard at the start??"
Yes. Otherwise LazyReader© will read whatever is currently in the clipboard when it starts up. Our testers discovered problems when large amounts of text resided in the clipboard upon startup. LazyReader© would begin rambling and because this version has not introduced our proprietary multi-threaded speech synthesis, the process must be killed via the Task Manager. This also is a problem in normal use if you copy a large area of text by accident. We hope to have that updated version released in tandem with our .NET port. Keep a look out for updates!

"and I also get an error"
You WOULD get an error! Er...sorry. We're kind of sensitive in the R&D department. Late nights, early mornings, coffee might as well be in an IV. You get the picture.

LazyReader© has been programmed to patently refuse to read certain text it deems kinda boring. Perhaps you could highlight something more fascinating like a Wiki on moon rocks, Oprah's Book club, or the UFC web page. We've never had any problems with LazyReader© reading about BJ Penn.

Another possible workaround would be to download the Microsoft Speech API from their web-site. We'd send you the link , but we cannot remember it. And our IT guy is a horrible speller, so our corporate firewall prevents access to any site with '.com' in it. Sorry.

You might also try to remove that offending line. It isn't necessary for the use of LazyReader©. It just gives you that Stephen Hawkings crooning that the kids are going for these days.

We hope this answers your concerns with the use of LazyReader©. Please feel free to contact me should you have any other questions or concerns.

Sincerely,
Bob MacNimara
Customer Support/Company Friend Maker/Crowd Pleaser
Useless Humanity, Inc.

Edited by zfisherdrums, 10 June 2007 - 07:50 AM.

[BrettF]

Useless Humanity, Inc.
2000 Awesome Hair Drive
Nashville, TN 37211

Re: Problems with the use of LazyReader©

Dear BERT;

Thank you for your interest in LazyReader©. We're sure you'll agree that our product will help you realize huge gains in the areas of personal productivity and knowledge advancement. I know it is hard for me to believe that we're practically GIVING this away for $19.95 free!

In regards to your inquiry, our R&D department has provided the following response:

"Looks ok, but do you really need to clear the clipboard at the start??"
Yes. Otherwise LazyReader© will read whatever is currently in the clipboard when it starts up. Our testers discovered problems when large amounts of text resided in the clipboard upon startup. LazyReader© would begin rambling and because this version has not introduced our proprietary multi-threaded speech synthesis, the process must be killed via the Task Manager. This also is a problem in normal use if you copy a large area of text by accident. We hope to have that updated version released in tandem with our .NET port. Keep a look out for updates!

"and I also get an error"
You WOULD get an error! Er...sorry. We're kind of sensitive in the R&D department. Late nights, early mornings, coffee might as well be in an IV. You get the picture.

LazyReader© has been programmed to patently refuse to read certain text it deems kinda boring. Perhaps you could highlight something more fascinating like a Wiki on moon rocks, Oprah's Book club, or the UFC web page. We've never had any problems with LazyReader© reading about BJ Penn.

Another possible workaround would be to download the Microsoft Speech API from their web-site. We'd send you the link , but we cannot remember it. And our IT guy is a horrible speller, so our corporate firewall prevents access to any site with '.com' in it. Sorry.

You might also try to remove that offending line. It isn't necessary for the use of LazyReader©. It just gives you that Stephen Hawkings crooning that the kids are going for these days.

We hope this answers your concerns with the use of LazyReader©. Please feel free to contact me should you have any other questions or concerns.

Sincerely,
Bob MacNimara
Customer Support/Company Friend Maker/Crowd Pleaser
Useless Humanity, Inc.

:rotfl: OMFG! This is way too funny!

Edited by Bert, 10 June 2007 - 09:09 AM.

[BrettF]

Re: Thankyou for fixing my problems with the use of LazyReader©

Dear Bob MacNumara

Thank you for your quick reply with my problems with LazyReader©. I now no-longer have to sit there, reading boring medical things, trying to refind penicillen, or reading page upon page of physics for my upcomming exam. I have complete faith in LazyReader© now, and it never leaves my taskbar. I am still very suprised that you are giving it away. You guys are crazy! I mean, with quality software such as LazyReader©, wouldnt you want to sell it??

In response to you statement regarding the clearing of the clipboard:

Of course! Why didn't I see it before. Without that one line, LazyReader© woould be speaking copious amounts of text indeed. In response to your problems with it having to be closed by task manager, why not just create a script that launches it and closes it instead! Thus your problem will be solved. I will also be sure to regularly check for updates, but alas, I don't know where to find you website.

In response to your reply to my error:

I would be sensitive too. If I had created such worthwhile software, then I too would have bitten back, as so to speak. It does appear that Useless Humanity Inc works extremely hard on their software, having late nights, early mornings and coffee through an IV.

I am very impressed that you have managed to make LazyReader© reject certain text types, especially the fact that it didn't read a 10 page university thesis on Astrophyisicis. Thankyou for that. And just so you know, BJ Penn is awesome.

In response to telling me to goto Microsoft and downloading something:

No! Just plain no! No Period. Just No! Have you any idea how much time I will waste, searching for something, tucked away, in a hidden corner of their servers? ANd when I do find it, I will go back to where I started, having to find a way to download it! Maybe in future releases you should update it and do what I did under your instruction, delete the offending line. If it isn't necessary, then why have it in LazyReader©?

I hope that the development continues, and Useless Humanity Inc. continues to develop quality software such as this.

Yours Sincerely,
Brett Ningerama
AutoIt Addict

[_Kurt]

Haha, wow, zfisherdrums really does have a great sense of humour! Your first post is hilarious.
Best Quote:

Erica will totally go out with you!

Kurt

[GaryFrost]

Here's something you might think about integrating into the script so you don't have to clear the clipboard.

AutoIt        expandcollapse  popup

#include <GUIConstants.au3>
#include <Misc.au3>

Global Const $WM_DRAWCLIPBOARD = 0x0308
Global Const $WM_CHANGECBCHAIN = 0x030D

Global $origHWND

$gui = GUICreate("Clip Hook", 400, 400, -1, -1, BitOR($WS_CAPTION, $WS_SYSMENU))

; remember last clip viewer in queue and set our GUI as first in queue
$origHWND = DllCall("user32.dll", "hwnd", "SetClipboardViewer", "hwnd", $gui)
$origHWND = $origHWND[0]

GUIRegisterMsg($WM_DRAWCLIPBOARD, "OnClipBoardChange")
GUIRegisterMsg($WM_CHANGECBCHAIN, "OnClipBoardViewerChange")

GUISetState()

While 1
    $msg = GUIGetMsg()
    If $msg = $GUI_EVENT_CLOSE Then ExitLoop
WEnd

; send notification that we no longer will be in clipboard hook queue
DllCall("user32.dll", "int", "ChangeClipboardChain", "hwnd", $gui, "hwnd", $origHWND)
Exit

Func OnClipBoardChange($hWnd, $msg, $wParam, $lParam)
    ; do what you need when clipboard changes
    ToolTip(ClipGet())
    Sleep(3000)
    ToolTip("")

    ; send notification about clipboard change to next clipviewer
    _SendMessage($origHWND, $WM_DRAWCLIPBOARD, $wParam, $lParam)
EndFunc   ;==>OnClipBoardChange

Func OnClipBoardViewerChange($hWnd, $msg, $wParam, $lParam)
    ; if our remembered previous clipviewer is removed then we must remember new next clipviewer
    ; else send notification about clipviewr change to next clipviewer
    If $wParam = $origHWND Then
        $origHWND = $lParam
    Else
        _SendMessage($origHWND, $WM_CHANGECBCHAIN, $wParam, $lParam, 0, "hwnd", "hwnd")
    EndIf
EndFunc   ;==>OnClipBoardViewerChange

[Paulie]

Useless Humanity, Inc.
2000 Awesome Hair Drive
Nashville, TN 37211

Re: Problems with the use of LazyReader©

Dear BERT;

Thank you for your interest in LazyReader©. We're sure you'll agree that our product will help you realize huge gains in the areas of personal productivity and knowledge advancement. I know it is hard for me to believe that we're practically GIVING this away for $19.95 free!

In regards to your inquiry, our R&D department has provided the following response:

"Looks ok, but do you really need to clear the clipboard at the start??"
Yes. Otherwise LazyReader© will read whatever is currently in the clipboard when it starts up. Our testers discovered problems when large amounts of text resided in the clipboard upon startup. LazyReader© would begin rambling and because this version has not introduced our proprietary multi-threaded speech synthesis, the process must be killed via the Task Manager. This also is a problem in normal use if you copy a large area of text by accident. We hope to have that updated version released in tandem with our .NET port. Keep a look out for updates!

"and I also get an error"
You WOULD get an error! Er...sorry. We're kind of sensitive in the R&D department. Late nights, early mornings, coffee might as well be in an IV. You get the picture.

LazyReader© has been programmed to patently refuse to read certain text it deems kinda boring. Perhaps you could highlight something more fascinating like a Wiki on moon rocks, Oprah's Book club, or the UFC web page. We've never had any problems with LazyReader© reading about BJ Penn.

Another possible workaround would be to download the Microsoft Speech API from their web-site. We'd send you the link , but we cannot remember it. And our IT guy is a horrible speller, so our corporate firewall prevents access to any site with '.com' in it. Sorry.

You might also try to remove that offending line. It isn't necessary for the use of LazyReader©. It just gives you that Stephen Hawkings crooning that the kids are going for these days.

We hope this answers your concerns with the use of LazyReader©. Please feel free to contact me should you have any other questions or concerns.

Sincerely,
Bob MacNimara
Customer Support/Company Friend Maker/Crowd Pleaser
Useless Humanity, Inc.

That was WAY too much to read

[Skrip]

What happends if you copy and image?

[zfisherdrums]

Useless Humanity, Inc.
2000 Awesome Hair Drive
Nashville, TN 37211

Re: Suggested Improvements in LazyReader©

Dear All Y'All;

We here at Useless Humanity, Inc. are elated with the positive customer feedback we've received since we launched LazyReader© this weekend. We trust you're enjoying the copious amounts of free time you are now enjoying thanks to this wonderful product.

But you wanted more...AND WE LISTENED! We are pleased to announce the new release of LazyReader©! You'll find it uploaded to our initial announcement/post.

How could we improve on useless perfection? By listening to your suggestions! Here's a taste of what you will enjoy in the new version:

- More efficient handling of clipboard operations (gaFrost)
- Fixed problem with Rambling (Bert)
- A totally useless GUI
- An even more useless startup routine!

Finally, a quick note from our R&D department regarding some of your other comments:

"What happends if you copy and image?"
One of two things. Either your computer will suck itself into a naked singularity creating an event horizon from which time itself cannot escape OR it will fix your 'd' key. Sorry. We haven't bathed and we need more coffee. Actually, no adverse action will occur in the system should you copy a non-text item. Copying files to the clipboard may result in the file path being read. But that's about it. No harm...no foul.

"That was WAY too much to read"
You're exactly the demographic LazyReader© is aimed for: Young Penguin Devotees! You're a perfect candidate to benefit from LazyReader©.

"Best Quote: Erica will totally go out with you!"
Absolutely! Erica is way hot for Autobots!

"In response to telling me to goto Microsoft and downloading something: No!"
We found the link. It is here: www.microsoft.com/something/tucked_away/hidden_corner/server/mssapi.exe

"If it isn't necessary, then why have it in LazyReader©?"
Are you saying you find it useless? Mission Accomplished!!!

We hope this answers your concerns with the use of LazyReader©. Please feel free to contact me should you have any other questions or concerns.

Sincerely,
Bob MacNimara
Customer Support/Company Friend Maker/Crowd Pleaser
Useless Humanity, Inc.

Edited by zfisherdrums, 11 June 2007 - 06:19 AM.

[Obi-w00t]

Very cool software, just a word to people getting errors: not everyone has the voice used in this program installed, by default I think XP has Microsoft Sam and SAPI installs Sam, Mike and Mary. For me I just had to change:

$ABriefHistoryOfRhyme.Voice = $ABriefHistoryOfRhyme.GetVoices( "Name=LH Michael", "Language=409" ).Item(0)

to:
$ABriefHistoryOfRhyme.Voice = $ABriefHistoryOfRhyme.GetVoices( "Name=Microsoft Sam", "Language=409" ).Item(0)

Although I don't think the line is strictly necessary.

[Paulie]

"That was WAY too much to read"
You're exactly the demographic LazyReader© is aimed for: Young Penguin Devotees! You're a perfect candidate to benefit from LazyReader©.

OMG, I Just fell out of my chair laughing!

Nice Job, but is it possible at all to add a "stop, but not quit" button? Like a Pause?

Because I was having it read a whole page, but I had to go find my Optimus Prime's hand, and well, i wanted to pause it but i couldn't, and i didn't want it to have to read the whole thing over again.

Edited by Paulie, 11 June 2007 - 05:56 PM.

[zfisherdrums]

Useless Humanity, Inc.
2000 Awesome Hair Drive
Nashville, TN 37211

Re: Continuing on Suggested Improvements in LazyReader©

Dear Paulie;

We here at Useless Humanity, Inc. are elated that Rosie O'Donnell is no longer on The View.

From our R&D department regarding your comments:

"...is it possible at all to add a "stop, but not quit" button? Like a Pause?"
Yes. In fact, our testing group suggested this as well. Our developers added that functionality and mapped it to SHIFT-F11. We are currently trying to draw up the Help File, but our technical writing department is outsourced to a small shop on Nerverland ranch. So far, all we've gotten from them is:

This program SUCKS!


We hope this answers your concerns with the use of LazyReader©. Please feel free to contact me should you have any other questions or concerns.

Sincerely,
Bob MacNimara
Customer Support/Company Friend Maker/Crowd Pleaser
Useless Humanity, Inc.

[Siddhartha]

wow...someone has got a little extra time on their hands eh?...

[zfisherdrums]

wow...someone has got a little extra time on their hands eh?...

No...not extra time. I just enjoy poking fun at the software/technology industry.

[_Kurt]

Well you sure are good at doing so!

Kurt

[Obi-w00t]

No...not extra time. I just enjoy poking fun at the software/technology industry.

If you really wanted to parody the software industry you would have to reply to each post with an automated email telling the poster that the company is "processing their request". Then a week later send a pre-made reply about a related problem that was not actually what they asked for. If enquiries pursue further another email should be sent from someone low down at the company telling the person that the developers are considering the problem and it could be fixed in the next release, but they have a lot of others issues they are currently working on and not every suggestion can be implemented.

Obviously not every company is like this, I once sent an email to Team17 to ask about an elementary installation problem and they sent back an extremely polite reply telling me the answer was actually in the help manual - they even copy and pasted that part of the manual in case I had lost it.

[zfisherdrums]

fyi...
new ovrhaul of lazyreader
newq fetureds
seee post #1
checvk it oiut!!

Shamus McTool
Regional Gantt Chart Producer
Useless Humanity, Inc.
Sent from my Blackberry

Edited by zfisherdrums, 17 June 2007 - 08:13 AM.

[i542]

UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!!
Useless Humanity, Inc is pleased to announce the next-gen version of LazyReader©.
We've expanded our R&D department, brought in extra coffee-pots, fired a couple useless interns - and you get to reap the rewards of our corporate re-structuring!!!

Previous downloads: 39


New features to enjoy:

• Play, Pause, Resume, Stop HotKeys (Ctrl-T, Ctrl-Shift-Pause, Ctrl-R, Ctrl-S respectively)!
• Customizeable Hot Keys and Voice settings!
• Dump speech straight to a WAV file!
• Aesthetically pleasing user interface!
• Dynamic effects that make Windows Vista look like Windows XP!!!

Legal has reminded us to thank the following individual contributors who helped in our most successful launch to date:

• Bert
• erifash
• CyberzeroCool
• gaFrost
• i542
• PaulIA
• SolidSnake
• Secure_ICT

So use some of that new-found free time and drop us a line. Let us know how LazyReader is making your life more complete!
(...)

To: LazyReader@UselessMail.com.net.uni.cc.co.nr.org.info <AKA: FensiŠmensi>
From: me@i542.net <AKA: Happy User Says >
Subject: LazyReader © ® ™ Testimonials

Dear LazyReader@UselessMail.com.net.uni.cc.co.nr.org.info,
I would like to say how many LazyReader changed life to me and my AutoIt <autoitscript.com/forum> forum friends.
Here we go:
"Wow! This useless script totally changed my life! I just haved to reinstall WinDown!"
- i542

"I still can't believe I actually broken my glasses to use LazyReader © ® ™! Now I have to found new! Glasses, not LazyReader. "
- Katrjin

"Why LazyReader © ® ™ hates me?"
- Valik

"OH DONT YOU DARE! YOU ******! NOW WHEN I WAS FINNALY ASKED TO D... *gots a bullet in his head*"
- GuidoSoft

"LazyReader © ® ™? "
- Secure_ICT

We would like to thank you for your invention of LazyReader © ® ™.
i542.net
=============================================
Disclaimer: This was all a joke, if I insult you then sorry, don't ban me or so.

[James]

I'm glad I could help