excuse generator

[NELyon]

This is just a small script that i made to get my self around "random" and arrays. You just run the script, and a message box pops up with a random excuse (sometimes this won't make any sence. Just makes me laugh)

there are only five beginings (like "i gotta", "sorry but..." ect)

15 middles (water, grow, ect)

10 endings (you'll see!)

my favorite one that came out was "sorry but i gotta beat my lizard"

If anyone can give me a list of some funny ones i can incorperate into this, please tell.

Edited August 5, 2006 by codemyster

[SmOke_N]

Cute ... You're missing a space at the end of here on the 2nd array .

[NELyon]

fixed

[Skrip]

in mid you should add "bleed"

"I gotta bleed the lizard"

[JavaScript_Freek]

You should make the arrays of two and three lowercase.

Simple but funny/!

[Vivvic]

I got "Sorry but I gata grow my lizard." XD

[Paulie]

"I have to chase my house"

More beginnings:

"I ought to..."

"I was just about to..."

"can you help me..."

"I still need to..."

"I just learned how to..."

"Would you mind if I were to..."

"First let me..."

"I can't unless I..."

"Oh! I forgot to..."

"I'd rather..."

More Middles:

"Paint"

"jump over"

"check on"

"catch"

"throw"

"wax"

"fix"

"help someone with"

"trade cards with"

"avoid"

"obfuscate"

"finish off"

"smack"

"Slam"

"Shut"

"find"

"kiss"

"propose to"

"invest in"

"explore"

"navigate through"

"beat the sh*t out of"

"'talk' to"

"ignite"

"congratulate"

"Insult"

"study"

"ignore"

"wait for"

More Ends:

"My sister"

"My Brother"

"Myself"

"My uncle"

"A shark"

"A log"

"A Nuclear missile"

"The front door"

"a Candlestick"

"A beached whale"

"My wife"

"Your Wife"

"A juice box"

"Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

"Something thats top secret."

"Something else more important"

"Something"

"A forest"

"a cute little bunny"

"A brand new Kia Optima"

"Your Mom"

"a big crowd"

"George W. Bush"

"a bonus"

"a wall"

Edit: added a few

Edited August 5, 2006 by Paulie

[RazerM]

"I must make my pie"

Like the additions you've come up with Paulie

[NELyon]

added alot morerandomquote.au3

[WTS]

i have to kiss my dog

[NELyon]

i should test my flowers

[Valuater]

might want to take a look at this one

http://www.autoitscript.com/forum/index.ph...cuses&st=0#

8)

[Paulie]

added GUI, plus more segments

this can get gross

"I was about to eat my sister."

;Code is below

Edited August 5, 2006 by Paulie

[i542]

"I should paint my lizard."

codemyster, you're GENIOUS

i542

EDIT: "Oh! I forgot to catch George W. Bush!"

GENIUS!!!!!!!!!

Edited August 5, 2006 by i542

[Richard Robertson]

I don't want to wax my "flowsers".

[Paulie]

"I have to test a nuclear missile."

[i542]

"I need to delete my brother.". With pleasure.

I updated Paulie's code so:

expandcollapse popup

#include <GuiConstants.au3>
#include <GuiStatusBar.au3>
$gui = GUICreate("Excuse Generator", 314, 141, 192, 125, $WS_CAPTION)
GUICtrlCreateGroup("Excuse", 8, 8, 289, 73)
$input = GUICtrlCreateInput("", 16, 32, 273, 21, $ES_READONLY, $WS_EX_CLIENTEDGE)
GUICtrlSetBkColor($input, 0xFFFFFF)
GUICtrlCreateGroup("", -99, -99, 1, 1)
$go = GUICtrlCreateButton("Generate", 48, 90, 89, 25)
$close = GUICtrlCreateButton("Close", 184, 90, 89, 25)
$statusbar = _GuiCtrlStatusBarCreate($gui,-1,-1)
_GuiCtrlStatusBarSettext($statusbar,"Ready - 21 starts, 43 middles, 26 ends")
_GuiCtrlStatusBarSetIcon($statusbar, 0, "shell32.dll",172)
GUISetState()
While 1
$msg = GUIGetMsg()

If $msg = $close then ExitLoop
   
If $msg = $go then Generate()

WEnd


Func Generate()
$1 = Random(1, 21, 1)
$2 = Random(1, 43, 1)
$3 = random(1, 26, 1)
$beg = StringSplit("I have to /I must /I gotta /I should /Sorry but I gotta /I ought to /I was about to /Can you help me /I still need to /First let me "& _
"/Oh! I forgot to /I just learned how to /I can't unless I /I need /I want /You should /Now must to /I got /How to /I forgotted /Sorry but I need ", "/")
$mid = StringSplit("water /do /beat /make /chase /run /choose /walk /type /move /grow /try /eat /test /hear /paint /jump over /check on /catch /throw "& _
"/wax /fix /avoid /smack /slam /find /kiss /ignite /insult /trade cards with /obfuscate /study /explore /beat the sh*t out of /something for " & _
"/wash /kill /sniff /delete /watch video with /watch TV with /create /sleep with ", "/")
$end = StringSplit("my dog./a cake./my flowers./my bed./a pie./my cat./my gum./my lizard./my keyboard./my house./my sister./my brother./a nuclear missile."& _
"/something top secret./my wife. /your wife. /myself. /George W. Bush. /something. /a log. /your mom./my mother./army./Napoleon./my friend./my secretary.", "/")
GUICtrlSetData($input, $beg[$1] & $mid[$2] & $end[$3])
GuiCtrlSetColor($input, RandomColor( ))
EndFunc
Func RandomColor( )
    Local $col = "0x"
    $col = $col & _Random()    
    $col = $col & _Random()
    $col = $col & _Random()
    $col = $col & _Random()
    $col = $col & _Random()
    $col = $col & _Random()
    _GuiCtrlStatusBarSetText($statusbar, "Last color code: " & $col & ". Ready")
    _GuiCtrlStatusBarSetIcon($statusbar, 0, "shell32.dll",Random(1,232,1))
    Return $col
EndFunc
Func _Random()
    Local $result = Random(1,15,1)
    Switch $result
        Case 10 
            Return "A"
        Case 11 
            Return "B"
        Case 12 
            Return "C"
        Case 13
            Return "D"
        Case 14 
            Return "E"
        Case 15 
            Return "F"
        Case Else
            $result = String($result)
            Return $result
    EndSwitch
EndFunc

I compacted it (no enters) so freely add empty lines and spaces.

Now it has 21 starts, 43 middles and 26 ends !

i542

EDIT: Added StatusBar and more colors

Edited August 6, 2006 by i542

[Paulie]

"I need to delete my brother.". With pleasure.

I compacted it (no enters) so freely add empty lines and spaces.

Now it has 21 starts, 42 middles and 26 ends !

i542

I like it, Just fixed some grammar and added spaces

expandcollapse popup

#include <GuiConstants.au3>

GUICreate("Excuse Generator", 314, 141, 192, 125, $WS_CAPTION)
GUICtrlCreateGroup("Excuse", 8, 8, 289, 73)
$input = GUICtrlCreateInput("", 16, 32, 273, 21, $ES_READONLY, $WS_EX_CLIENTEDGE)
GUICtrlSetBkColor($input, 0xFFFFFF)
GUICtrlCreateGroup("", -99, -99, 1, 1)
$go = GUICtrlCreateButton("Generate", 48, 104, 89, 25)
$close = GUICtrlCreateButton("Close", 184, 104, 89, 25)
GUISetState()

While 1
$msg = GUIGetMsg()
If $Msg = $GUI_EVENT_CLOSE then Exitloop
If $msg = $close then ExitLoop
If $msg = $go then Generate()
WEnd

Func Generate()
$1 = Random(1, 22, 1)
$2 = Random(1, 42, 1)
$3 = random(1, 26, 1)

$beg = StringSplit( _
"I have to /I must /I gotta /I should "& _
"/Sorry but I gotta /I ought to /I was about to "& _
"/Can you help me /I still need to /First let me "& _
"/Oh! I forgot to /I just learned how to /I can't unless I "& _
"/I need to /I want to /You should /Now I must /I got to "& _
"/Do you know how to /I forgot I had to /Sorry but I need to /I'd rather ", "/")

$mid = StringSplit( _
"water /do /beat /make /chase /run /choose /walk /type "& _
"/move /grow /try /eat /test /hear /paint /jump over /check on "& _
"/catch /throw /wax /fix /avoid /smack /slam /find /kiss /ignite "& _
"/insult /trade cards with /obfuscate /study /explore /beat the sh*t out of "& _
"/find something for /wash /kill /sniff /delete /watch a movie with "& _
"/watch TV with /create", "/")

$end = StringSplit( _
"my dog./a cake./my flowers./my bed./a pie./my cat./a stick of gum."& _
"/my pet lizard./my keyboard./my house./my sister./my brother./a nuclear missile."& _
"/something top secret./my wife. /your wife. /myself. /George W. Bush." & _
"/something. /a log. /your mom./my mother./an army./Napoleon./my friend./my secretary.", "/")

GUICtrlSetData($input, $beg[$1] & $mid[$2] & $end[$3])
GuiCtrlSetColor($input, RandomColor( ))
EndFunc

Func RandomColor( )
    Local $col = "0x"
    $col = $col & Random(1,9,1)
    $col = $col & Random(1,9,1)
    $col = $col & Random(1,9,1)
    $col = $col & Random(1,9,1)
    $col = $col & Random(1,9,1)
    $col = $col & Random(1,9,1)
    $col = Number($col)
    Return $col
EndFunc

Edited August 5, 2006 by Paulie

[NELyon]

I forgot i had to slam you mom

[ivan]

What if excuses are not random but targeted?

I can think of a few scenarios where this could come in handy:

1) wife and beer drinking excuse generator... (this should be a long one, but not too long in case you're too drunk so as to remember it)

2) passed deadline excuse generator ... (useful for work and students)

3) wife and football excuse generator...

4) sorry, i missed the target excuse generator (useful for bomber pilots when the fuck up big time!)

etc...